The Science of First Impressions: How to Win People Over in the First 30 Seconds

You’ve probably heard the saying, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” Science backs it up: Princeton researchers found that people form judgments about trustworthiness and competence in as little as one-tenth of a second after seeing someone’s face.

That means the first 30 seconds of a new interaction, whether at a networking event, job interview, or first day with a new team, are crucial. The good news? You can intentionally shape those moments to set yourself up for connection and success.

Here’s what the research says about how to win people over quickly, along with practical tips to put it into action.

1. Make Eye Contact That Connects

Why it matters: Eye contact signals confidence and trustworthiness. A study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that people who maintain eye contact are perceived as more competent and likable. Too little feels evasive; too much feels aggressive.

Tip: Aim for 60–70% eye contact during introductions. Combine it with a genuine smile; your brain actually releases mirror neurons that encourage the other person to smile back.

2. Master the Handshake (or Greeting)

Why it matters: According to research from the University of Iowa, a firm (but not crushing) handshake leads to higher ratings of confidence and credibility in interviews. Even in cultures or settings where handshakes aren’t standard, the principle holds: the way you initiate contact matters.

Tip: Use a handshake (or equivalent greeting) that’s confident, paired with eye contact and a smile. Avoid the limp grip or over-enthusiastic squeeze. Grasp their hand firmly (the web between your thumb and index finger should touch theirs), pump 2-4 times while looking them in the eye and verbally greeting them. It should feel like a bridge, not a power move.

3. Show Genuine Interest

Why it matters: Dale Carnegie’s timeless insight in How to Win Friends and Influence People still holds: people love talking about themselves. Neuroscience confirms it: self-disclosure activates the brain’s reward system, making people feel good about the interaction. When you make people feel important, interesting, and attractive, they’ll find ways to be around you more.

Tip: Instead of launching into your elevator pitch, start with curiosity. Ask open-ended questions like, “How did you get into your line of work?” or “What have you been getting into lately?” Then listen attentively and resist the urge to plan your response while they’re talking.

4. Signal That You Value Them

Why it matters: Research on social validation shows that people are drawn to those who make them feel respected and acknowledged. In workplace contexts, this lays the groundwork for trust and collaboration. Showing someone you value them early in your conversation sets the groundwork for a productive interaction. 

Tip: Once you know something about them, acknowledge and compliment it. “Rock climbing seems so intimidating to me; you must be really brave.” “Wow, 20 years at the same company! I admire that level of dedication.” And you get extra credit points if you do it i

5. Be Engaging From the Start, Without Taking Over

Why it matters: The first 30 seconds set the tone. Research on conversational dynamics shows that people quickly judge not just what you say, but how you say it. Coming across as flat or distracted can make you forgettable, while talking too much can make you overwhelming. The sweet spot is energy plus balance.

Tip: In your opening moments, bring warmth and enthusiasm: smile, use open body language, and keep your tone upbeat. Share a quick, relevant comment or observation that connects you to the situation (“This is such a great turnout today” at a networking event). Then immediately create space for the other person by asking a genuine question. This balance makes you memorable and likable right from the start.

Putting It All Together

In the first 30 seconds, people decide if they want to keep talking to you, or if they’re already looking for an exit. By making eye contact, offering a confident greeting, showing curiosity, validating others, and balancing energy, you can turn those fleeting moments into opportunities for lasting connection.

Remember: likability isn’t about being everyone’s best friend. It’s about making others feel valued, respected, and at ease. And often, that impression is made before you’ve even finished your first sentence.